Discernment Counseling: A Path to Clarity in Your Marriage

Melissa Davenport-LaPlante

Sep 14

2 min read

Updated: Oct 19

Understanding Discernment Counseling

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are unsure if that's the best path, you are in a tough spot. Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It offers a chance to slow down, take a breath, and explore your options for your marriage.

Discernment Counseling is a unique approach that helps couples where one partner is “leaning out” of the relationship, unsure that traditional marriage counseling would be beneficial. Meanwhile, the other partner is "leaning in," eager to rebuild the marriage.

The counselor will guide you in deciding whether to work on restoring your marriage, move toward divorce, or take a break to reflect. The goal is to gain clarity and confidence about your direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its future possibilities.

The Process of Discernment Counseling

The primary aim is not to solve your marital problems but to determine if they are solvable. Each partner will be treated with compassion and respect, regardless of their current feelings about the marriage. There are no "bad guys" or "good guys" in this process.

You will enter the counseling sessions as a couple, but the most crucial work happens during one-on-one conversations with the counselor. Why is this important? Because you are starting from different places emotionally and mentally.

The counselor respects your reasons for considering divorce while also opening the door to the possibility of restoring your marriage. They emphasize the importance of each partner recognizing their contributions to the relationship's challenges and potential solutions. This insight can be invaluable, even if the relationship ultimately ends.

Number of Sessions

Discernment Counseling typically consists of a maximum of five sessions. The first session usually lasts two hours, while subsequent sessions are either 1.5 or two hours long.

When Discernment Counseling May Not Be Suitable

Discernment Counseling is not appropriate in certain situations, including:

When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce.
When one spouse is coercing the other to participate.
When there is a risk of domestic violence.

Conclusion

Navigating the complexities of a marriage can be overwhelming. If you find yourself at a crossroads, consider exploring Discernment Counseling. It can provide the support and clarity you need during this challenging time. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. I provide therapy for women navigating mid-life transitions, including perimenopause. I'm here to support you with burnout, anxiety, and feelings of overwhelm. My goal is to offer nurturing guidance during these important changes.

For more information, visit Discernment Counselors.